INT. Coffee Shop – Day

JEANNE sits by herself at a 4-person table. Her bag and papers cover her entire area. Like, not just a little; they’re everywhere.  The rest of the coffee shop is completely crowded and full. ADAM enters with a coffee in his hand, computer bag around his other arm. He looks around, but there are literally no other seats available. He walks up to Jeanne.

ADAM

Hey, sorry to bother you. But can I, uh?

ADAM gestures towards the table. JEANNE removes an earbud and looks up at ADAM.

JEANNE

I’m not a registered voter, and I’ve already given to Planned Parenthood, the Salvation Army, Gay Rights, Women’s Rights, Immigrant Rights, Occupy Rights, Little People Protests, and the Children’s Fitness Club.

ADAM

No, sorry, I just wanted to…

ADAM gestures towards the table again.

JEANNE

I have a boyfriend.

She puts her earbud back in and turns back to her work.

ADAM looks around the coffee shop. There are still no seats! He doesn’t notice AGGRESSIVE OLD LADY at the table next to JEANNE eyeing him. ADAM taps JEANNE on the shoulder.

JEANNE removes the earbud again. Clearly frustrated this time.

JEANNE

I have a boyfriend.

AGGRESSIVE OLD LADY stands up at his table. She looks about 99 and is breathing like any moment may be her last. She’s small and frail with white hair, but her voice is surprisingly loud and sharp.

AGGRESSIVE OLD LADY

She said she doesn’t want to hear from you, pal. What’s your problem?

ADAM loses his posture. He slinks past AGGRESSIVE OLD LADY and almost leaves, but pauses near the door. He turns around and marches back up to AGGRESSIVE OLD LADY. He points his finger in her face.

ADAM

You know what? I’m tired of all this feminist we-stick-together man-hater bullshit. I don’t care if you are about to croak, or if she does give to every charity on the planet. How hard is it to move your stuff so a guy can have a seat huh?

ADAM looks around; he now seems to be speaking to the whole coffee shop.

I don’t care if you’re nine or 99 – a bully is a bully. And this is a public institution, in a land of freedom! I’m trying to write a novel to define our generation, and one of my peers won’t even allow me a seat! Is this what we’ve come to? At the hands of our greedy ancestors?

ADAM gestures towards AGGRESSIVE OLD LADY.

I won’t stand for it! I won’t!

ADAM walks, stone-faced, back to JEANNE’s table. He swipes his arms across the table, knocking all of her papers to the ground.

ADAM

That’s what I think of you, and your self-congratulatory, cliche self-centered hipster, I-give-to-charities-but-won’t-even-give-a-stranger-a-seat, I have a boyfriend attitude.

A deep voice comes from OS.

BAXTER

If you have something to say to my girlfriend, maybe you should say it to me.

ADAM turns around, finger pointed, ready to argue more, and then stops short. Mouth still agape, he slowly lowers his gaze – one foot, two feet, three…

BAXTER is in a wheelchair. Dude has no legs. Other than that, he actually looks pretty buff. He even has a crew cut.

ADAM

I. Uh. Oh.

BAXTER wheels around ADAM to the large empty spot at the table. The coffee shop employees are picking up the papers and putting the back on the table. ADAM shakes his head, shrugs and sits down at a recently vacated seat.

END SCENE

 

 

Meh. Not my best work. But considering I woke up 18 hours ago, after about 3 hours of sleep…I’ll give it an easy go.

Sometimes mediocre creativity is actually easier than commentary.

 

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